Some guys don’t get it, but they haven’t read the book either, as don’t a lot of men.Sometimes men don’t read, so they think it is giving up the game, but it shouldn’t be a game when it comes to somebody’s happiness and somebody’s life. I think the disadvantage some women have had is they haven’t been exposed to the way men think of things.Don’t go on a date saying stuff like, “We will see how it goes.” Don’t do that. You women have the greatest benefit package available to man and you have lost sight of that over the years. Writing it caused me to sit down and talk to her about each of these chapters and it actually made our relationship a lot better. One of the reasons was because I had to come up with examples and stories. Women have got to stop saying, “We will see how it goes.” If not, I tell you what is going to happen: It is going to go just like the guy wants it to go. The mistake a lot of people make is: “I am just going to do this and kick it until I meet him.” While you are just doing it and kicking it, you may be blocking Mr. e Harmony: Can women ever trust a guy who has been unfaithful? We had a great relationship, but we actually have a better relationship because as a man I am not that great of a communicator. If you write down how a man thinks that is 30 pages because we are really that simple. , is No.1 on the New York Times Hardcover Advice Best-Seller list and on Now, with appearances on “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” “The Tyra Banks Show” and “Today,” sales of the book are sure to skyrocket even more.I was very careful in constructing this book to make sure it had no color to it and that is the beautiful thing.I am talking about a subject I am an absolute expert on and that is manhood. I don’t know a man who is, but I am an expert on manhood. I don’t care how much we make, what we do for a living, what our religion is or what color we are. So when I sat down to write this book, I wrote it from the standpoint of what I was an expert at and from where I had the greatest source of information — and that was all of my friends who happen to be men. It is real conversation from a man who has no ulterior motive other than to tell them the truth.
I asked my dad about this experience, and here’s how he described it: he told his parents he was ready to get married, so his family arranged meetings with three neighboring families. That’s how my dad decided on the person with whom he was going to spend the rest of his life.
If you don’t have any standards and requirements, any parameters set up in your initial dating experience, then a guy just starts exacting his will and you end up not getting what you want. e Harmony: If there is one piece of advice you could give to men and women looking for love, what would that be? What you have to do in the meantime is stay in the ready-set position. The first three chapters of the book explains how men are.
A woman should never be afraid to say what she wants, what she is looking for, and if a guy doesn’t want to do [what she lays out], let him go about his business, because we are going to be doing one of two things with you: We are going to be playing with you, or we are going to be planning with you. Steve Harvey: It is my firm belief that God has created someone for everyone. Why would God having created your soulmate never allow you to meet him/her? It was really eye-opening for me to put the words on the page and share the chapters with my wife.
It doesn’t take us six months to figure out if you are the one. That is the key to a guy: a woman who has standards and requirements and, in the book, I talk about this extensively. Women have to establish their standards and requirements because the guy will only give you as much respect as you command. I am a firm believer that God will eventually cause you and your soulmate’s paths to cross. The majority of the women I know can’t really separate the two. So I am saying, date, go to movies, but save your benefits for the guys that are deserving of your benefits. e Harmony: You say in your book that women should wait 90 days before giving out benefits … I am telling you that if you sleep with a guy on the first night, it is not a smart move. If you sleep with me on the first night that is great for me, but I assure you that rarely works out for the woman, because the guy goes, “Wow. If he just wants to play with you, he just wants to get it. I don’t want to rush it,” he’ll say, “I am out of here.” Let him go. I teach my sons that they cannot get in the car until their mothers and sisters are in the car. Steve Harvey: A lot of things come into play: Your confidence level, the way you carry yourself. You may not be the hottest chick at the office, or the hottest chick down at the club, but man, carry yourself with some dignity. You may not have a man, but dress up like you care about yourself.
It is critical that a woman says up front what she wants out of a relationship — and don’t worry about running a guy off. e Harmony: Does that mean that women should expect to spend some time alone while they are waiting for Mr. Most women — not all — but most women have to be emotionally attached to you to get physical with you. Steve Harvey: It is like this: You uncover a lot about a guy in 90 days. I have talked this over with a lot of men — all of my research in this book is from talking to men. It might not take you 90 days, but on a job, you spend eight hours a day five days a week getting to know a person before they give you benefits. He is not going to be a happy camper coming back, but sometimes a guy can make a mistake and he can learn from it and go, “Wow. I teach my sons that if I turn around and you are in that car and your mother and sisters are not in that car, I am crushing you because suppose something happens — a dog attack or something — and we are in the car and the girls are not, how can we protect them? Do you know that your boyfriend or your man is supposed to walk closest to the curb? He is supposed to pull your chair out at the restaurant; he is supposed to open the door for you at the mall. If you care about you, it causes someone else to care about you, too.